I hate knowing how much I weigh. I think buying a scale was never a good idea for me. I'm way too obsessive. What I hate even more than the number I am is the number I wear. I despise it. I know I need to work out. For heaven's sake, I hold two exercise certifications and we own a treadmill and an elliptical. I have no excuse. NONE.
So, today, I got on the treadmill. For the FIRST time since before Noah was born. We bought the elliptical last summer, so I've been sporatically doing that for the last year. Let's face it.
It. Ain't. Workin!
Not. At. All.
The treadmill, on the other hand, has always worked. I think because the obsessiveness (is that a word) of my personality always makes me go on that thing til I'm sick. I won't let myself stop until all the numbers equal up. I'll run until my numbers are even, then I'll stop and walk for a minute... until I don't feel like I'm going to throw up anymore. Then, once I feel human again, I run again.. until I feel like I'm going to throw up again, then I walk. You get my drift. This works for me. And I like the treadmill. I just always kill myself on it, that's why I was trying to get used to the elliptical.
Anyway, today, I got on the treadmill. And being that I haven't run in almost two years (crap, no wonder I'm fat as h***) I don't think I did too terribly bad. I ran a mile and walked a mile and this was while Noah was awake. All during his nap, I had intentions of working out, but I kept doing this and then that and then something else and before I knew it, he was awake and I was still in my sweat-free workout clothes. So, I got on and he and Emma played in front of me. I can do this. It worked. I just couldn't stay on for an hour, but that's okay. I probably wouldn't be able to move had I stayed on for an hour.
So, I'm blogging about this in the hopes that this will maybe make me more accountable? Maybe if I chronicle my way through being less fat, the fat will come off quicker? Who knows, but what I do know is that I want to have another baby.... preferably I would like for it to be made this year and I do not want to get pregnant at the weight I am, because no matter how thin I am when I get pregnant, I always end up ginormous come delivery time. Therefore, the smaller I start out, the better off I am.
The only bad thing about working out? It makes me SO HUNGRY!!! I've been stalking my cabinets, pantry, and fridge for the last fifteen minutes and nothing new is showing up.. ooooohhh... I just want some Taco Bell...
7 comments:
Candace, I think you're gorgeous... but I am glad you're working out for YOU! Keep up the good work, and if you need a reporting buddy, I'd be glad to listen!
Dude...whatever!!!! YOUR NOT FAT!!!!!!
Exercise is always good, and healthy...as for me, I enjoy sitting in the sauna and talking, just ask Jessica.
Anyways....don't think to much about your size, just try and eat healthy and excerise. It's not like you don't have enough going on in your life as it is!!!!! We aren't in our young 20's anymore....its harder to get the weight off, and we all need to come to terms with the fact that we aren't going to look like we did when we were 20! We have had babies...and our bodies are forever changed!!!!
i don't think ur fat, however, i DO understand not being happy with your size. we're all different and we're ALL allowed to be unhappy with what we got...even if it looks just fine to others, right?
u go girl. get on that treadmill and puke ur brains out. i'm like that too. i love to feel totally SICK afterwards.
buy urself some protein mix to make shakes right after u finish (which is when ur body absorbs the most nutrients and protein) and then throughout the day when u get hungry.
i only wish i could be making myself puke right now. i had a breakdown last night with austin about how ugly and fat i feel. i know i know...i pregnant, but i'm still allowed to feel nasty. come october let's both kick some butt, okay?
I think you look amazing!
I do however understand the desire to loose weight. When I had my second son I stayed a little heavy. After having my youngest, I finally got into a size skinny. Unfortunately that didn’t last long. I believed & told myself I’d loose the weight and over the course of a few years and taking care of everyone but me, I developed health issues. So I commend you on making yourself a priority. It’s truly hard to do with a family.
I too have an elliptical & treadmill. But as funny as it sounds I love the Wii! It’s so fun to be able to work out with the boys and my husband (when he’s home). If anything it gives me the motivation I need. Now as far as being hungry after a workout, let me know if you figure something out. LOL
Good luck girl!! (oh how did the pool turn out)
I was complaining how fat I was getting and then I went out and GOT Taco Bell. So, at least, you are headed in the right direction.
HIIIIII!!!!
first of all: you're hilarious, you are a terrific writer and I laughed and nodded along with you the whole time
secondly: i've never seen you, but c'mon, with a hubby as cute-as-pie as yours and two GORGEOUS kiddies, you're no doubt a smokin' hot babe!
thirdly: i feel EXACTLY the same. I try to lie to myself, "i'm just big boned" or "i've got the body of a WOMAN now" but truth is: I'm chubby. Large Marge. Never Hungry. So. Bottom Line.
I feel you.
Baby, you are beautiful! You are not FAT! Don't try to kill yourself on those things. I don't know...I know it's hard trying to fit in a workout with both the kids by yourself. You probably just need to go to Omni since the have a daycare there. I know it will make it alot easier.
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